THIS MADE ME START HYPERVENTILATING which is really ironic
that was fucking terrifying
your tension has been exterminated
Oh god I am wearing headphones and my sound was up a lot and I flinched and then started laughing and couldn’t stop!
I’m trying to figure out when “oh, it’s midnight” turned into “oh, it’s only midnight”
in the south we don’t say “you’re a dumb fuck” we say “bless your heart” and i think that’s beautiful.
advantages of being a boy:
- your boobs don’t get in the way
- no period
- your hormones don’t make you feel like a different person every week
- no childbirth
- penises are fun
- shirts always fit over your chest
- you can walk around topless in summer without being arrested for it
- you store less fat
advantages of being a girl:
- can use your bra as an extra pocket
You bite your nails. He clicks his pen. I smoke cigarettes. We all die in the end.
yo i ain’t saying she’s a gold-digger but she does carry a weird pan everywhere and keep mumbling stuff about “gold in them there hills” idk so yeah she is probably a gold digger
“Jennifer likes researching genocide and napping with kittens.”
*slowly walks across the stage, grinning*