May 2013
“Because when something happens, she’s the person I want to tell. The most basic...”
– David Levithan, Every Day (via endangerment)
2 tags
(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
people my age are getting pregnant and married and i can’t even order a pizza over the phone
1 tag
cafunedesaudade:
I’m trying to figure out when “oh, it’s midnight” turned into “oh, it’s only midnight”
smalltownbigguy:
in the south we don’t say “you’re a dumb fuck” we say “bless your heart” and i think that’s beautiful.
advantages of being a boy:
your boobs don’t get in the way
no period
your hormones don’t make you feel like a different person every week
no childbirth
penises are fun
shirts always fit over your chest
you can walk around topless in summer without being arrested for it
you store less fat
advantages of being a girl:
can use your bra as an extra pocket
reallyreallyreallytrying:
yo i ain’t saying she’s a gold-digger but she does carry a weird pan everywhere and keep mumbling stuff about “gold in them there hills” idk so yeah she is probably a gold digger
can you imagine if graduation was like a beauty...
gedenkenbrauchtwissen:
“Jennifer likes researching genocide and napping with kittens.”
*slowly walks across the stage, grinning*
My stomach was making the rumblies that only hands...
“Wearing a hijab isn’t inherently liberating – but neither is baring one’s...”
– Sara Yasin, Is the Hijab Worth Fighting Over?
(via rcabbasi)
I watched iron man 3 and the avengers last night with Neil. Needless to say I’m really tired and have zero desire to go to work today.
Who needs a protective older brother when you have a protective younger who’s a redneck?
1 tag
eleventhdoctor:
i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information
1 tag
tangobullets:
everytime i hear the name cynthia i just
You know, she’s a really cool dancer.
3 tags
sunkissedgirlwearingpearls:
dingoinnuendo:
fovelshucker:
SALT AND VINEGAR CHIPS ARE GROSS MAN VINEGAR IS GROSS DONT PUT IT ON MY CHIPS
omg.
justmyflawedlogic:
oliviastarshippp:
lokisgloriouspenis:
okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl
female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to...
1 tag
“When I wake up just before dawn and hear the throbbing voices of birds as they...”
– Rachel Corrie, Let Me Stand Alone (via awritersruminations)
2 tags
“A healthy relationship is one where two independent people just make a deal that...”
– best version. (via thinktwicetrue)
mightyboy7:
“stop calling everyone peasants it’s getting kinda old”
the king laughs in my face
my proposal for the abolishment of feudalism has been rejected
“No one’s lived forever, but we’re all still in the running.”
– Dr. Thomas Greenfield, SUNY Geneseo (via sean3116)
A village in India plants 111 trees every time a... →
deafmuslimpunx:
While in some parts of India, many expectant parents still say they’d prefer bearing sons, members of the Piplantri village, in the western state of Rajasthan, are breaking this trend by celebrating the birth of each baby girl in way that benefits everyone. For every female child that’s born, the community gathers to plant 111 fruit trees in her honor in the village common.
...
April 2013
